1 Field of sweetgrass
1 salt block
FIRST, MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE RHINO! IF NOT, HE WILL BE NERVOUS ABOUT
YOU FOLLOWING HIM AROUND WITH A SKILLET AND A BATTERY-POWERED
HOTPLATE, AND HE WILL PROBABLY TRY TO KILL YOU! TELL HIM HE HAS A
FINE NOSE. RHINOS ARE SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT THAT.
Be patient throughout the day. Bring plenty of sunscreen, because you
will be in Africa and it is hot there. Make sure the rhino consumes
the salt and sugar as well as plenty of grass and water. Offer him
other spices for varying tastes, BUT NOT CAYENNE PEPPER BECAUSE THE
RESULTS OF THIS WILL BE HORRIFYING! Your patience will eventually pay
off with an exceedingly large pancake.
Ten seconds on both sides. Serve to lunatics.