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10 Things Not to Say to a Girl on the First Date

10 things not to say to a girl on a first date.

1. Gaww, you eat pretty fast! You got any pictures of your Mom?
2. The lights in this restaurant are more flattering to you than the streetlamps outside your bedroom window.
3. You know, I bet that blouse would look REALLY good on me!
4. Sure, I loved Slingblade. Doyle was awesome! He reminds me of Dad.
5. So I told him , ‘Listen! I'd rather die alone than settle for some sloppy reject from the woman factory!' You know?
6. My first wedding? Who knows? It was a blur, I was WASTED!
7. What do you think about prosthetic genitals?
8. Yeah, I dream in color. The blood is always red.
9. When Jeff showed me your picture, I was like, no way, but this is like the hundredth time I've been wrong about some ugly picture!
10. People with multiple STDs have feelings, too. I just think that everyone deserves a chance at love, right?


Andrea Greer said...

Oh my gosh Todd, these were so funny!!

Todd Austin Hunt said...

Thank you, Andrea!